Shifting perspective.

A simple shift in perspective shines a positive light on the people we interact with.

How could I have any respect for someone who makes me feel angry with her blunt statements of observation?

While helping a Nun/Monk friend with renovations I was subject to harsh, but true, statements and observations. These experiences have changed the way I think about my social interactions with people. We sometimes forget how easy it is to change the narrative in our head to be truly positive. Even when we think we are truly being funny or making someone's day our message can hurt or trigger someone.

Over the years I have had the pleasure of interacting with people who have changed my perspective forever.

My son Duane has Asperger's Syndrome, a form of Autism. When Duane was a child we would scold him for saying things that society would deem inappropriate.. "That lady is fat", "You talk funny", and many more derogatory terms. He wasn't wrong or trying to be hurtful, it was the truth. This made me think, if we could all be so "Honest" and not take things personally, wouldn't it be easier to get along?

Maggie, "Maytiwee", is a Nun/Monk in Victoria B.C.. She has agreed to take on the heavy task of helping me become Conscious. Maggie told me it would be hard work and very challenging at times. I thought, how could a journey to Consciousness be anything but wonderful? I soon discovered what she meant. I'll elaborate in another blog so this awakening story doesn't become a novel.

I was picking up supplies at a Victoria drug store when I saw a man painting the walls beside an elevator. Without thinking, I said, "you missed a spot". When he turned to look at me, probably thinking, another comedian, I said, "you must here that a lot" and snickered. He said yes and continued painting.

Feeling judged by taking words personally causes anger when it is simply an observation that is up for discussion.

When I returned to Maggie's I told her what I did, quite proud that I made a joke and made someone happy. To my surprise and utter shock, she said that might have been hurtful and caused undue suffering. I immediately felt angry, how could she turn this around so I'm the bad guy just trying to put a smile on someone's face?

After calming down and engaging in a deep conversation I totally understood. The concept was so simple yet very profound. Instead of taking a chance with a joke that could cause a negative reaction, say something truly positive. "Nice work, that really brightens up the space". Pretty hard to misinterpret that statement and much more likely to foster a sense of pride and joy in the painter.

From that day forward I strive to convey a positive, impeccable truth that hopefully is uplifting to the person I am talking to. Sometimes this is difficult when we ourselves are mired in our own negative state of mind. By actually taking a moment to feel what you are about to say can change the narrative to something positive. That small difference will usually help us feel gratitude. Gratitude is then shared, even if it is only within ourselves, which makes the world a little better.

What triggered this blog? I woke up feeling burdened and struggled to get moving. So many things to do! Once I started working on the chores at hand I felt productive and grateful. A trip to the laundry mat was an enlightening experience. How could this be? It's so mundane and just something that must be done. I zipped in with chores on my mind, had a quick chat with the female attendant, loaded the washing machine and left. When I returned to load the dryer, the washing machine wasn't finished. After a quaint chat and a chuckle or two I was off to finish some chores. When I returned to pickup my clothes I jokingly said, "Did you get my clothes folded?". She said "YES", I looked on the counter and saw my clothes neatly forded and in a bag ready to go. I was delighted and thanked her with all my heart. She was closing up and said she was heading home for a beer on this very hot day. I told her she deserved it and thanked her once again.

I woke up thinking I should say thanks and let her know she is appreciated. I'm going to get a card from The Muse Café and simply say… THANKS, It is nice to know there are kind, caring people in this world. You are appreciated.

No glory, no jokes, just a message of gratitude towards another person.

If this post helped to change your perspective please share it and leave a comment.

THANKS